From Heartbreak to Wholeness by Kristine Carlson

Author:Kristine Carlson
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: St. Martin's Press

THE HOOP OF FIRE PROCESS

•   Stop and breathe. Sit quietly, sensing the place of stillness within you.

•   Put one hand on your belly and the other on your heart, and let your body know that you are willing to listen to its wisdom. Then ask your body what it has to say to you.

•   Tune in to your physical sensations. How does it feel to breathe in deeply? Is your solar plexus tight? Are your shoulders or neck sore? Where are you tense? Where are you holding something?

•   Now let yourself touch the feelings beneath the bodily sensations that may be masking your fear. Ask yourself: What am I feeling? Is it confusion? Doubt? Anxiety? Dread?

•   How do these feelings keep you in the “waiting room”? Ask yourself: What is the fear (ego) trying to tell me not to do? How is fear creating a block between you and a dream you have for your life?

•   Now name the hoop of fire. Is it self-doubt? Is it “I’m not worthy of joy”? Is it fear of rejection or fear of failure? Or is it fear of your success? What is the painfully limiting belief that spits fire at you at the threshold of your future?

Sandra is a woman in her midforties who felt her biological clock ticking—not for birthing children but for birthing her true love. After this latest breakup, a relationship of two years, she was freaked out by the possibility of being alone and not finding “the love of her life.” Her heartbreak came from grieving a future she expected was out there and thought she wasn’t finding. She started dating and looking for serious love far too soon to be ready—to be whole. Every time it didn’t work out with some guy, she rushed back into dating, not taking the time to be on the journey to heal into wholeness. Sandra needed to face the fear of being alone with courage, intention, and integrity. A person who is afraid of being alone will have to jump through the hoop of fire and lean into the fear of being alone by choosing to spend some quality time on their own. It took a few months, but by jumping through the hoop, spending this time with the intention of not dating someone for distraction, Sandra realized that the most important relationship is the one she has with herself, and learning to love her own company was the first step to leaning in.

I know a man, Larry, in his fifties, who was so happy when he opened his small hardwood-flooring company. He hummed along for years and enjoyed all the aspects of running his own company, but then the 2008 world financial crisis happened. Building came to a halt, and he lost everything. Despondent for a time, he felt like he might be perceived as too old to enter the job market, and for a long time he had little desire to do so. He was afraid that he would be outdated and unable to find a job, and his fears paralyzed him.

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